I’m thrilled to introduce Valerie Lear as our guest muse today. You might know Valerie as Any Direct Flight on Flickr and Tumbler. She is a French expat living in Toronto, Canada and missing home like crazy. Valerie hates long Canadian winters but loves summer and fall. She is a self-described “compulsive photographer and film lover.” Without further ado, I bring you Valerie’s post…
When I was 12 years old, I became a “photographer” (I still have a hard time calling myself a photographer today). I was given a Kodak Instamatic as a present and I took it with me everywhere I went. When I was 29 years old, I became a mother. By then, I had owned a Canon AE1 for a few years and I filled roll after roll of Kodak Gold with pictures of my beautiful baby boy. When I was 37 years old, my daughter died in utero, 4 months into my pregnancy and I became… lost… 
Grief took all the space, there was no time left for photography.
No time, no need, no desire, no energy…
Then one day, because I wanted to take photos at a butterfly release, I borrowed a digital camera. Putting my eye to a viewfinder again was strange and exciting… and what I saw was beautiful…
Through that viewfinder, and through the many viewfinders of many cameras to come after that, I saw beauty… in a butterfly… in the blades of grass around it… in the drops of dew hanging on to the tips of the grass… in the sky… in the clouds… in the light… and in time being suspended for just a moment…
“The camera is an instrument that teaches people to see without a camera.”
My camera was an eye-opener, a heart-opener, a healer and a teacher…It gave me back a sense of awe, a sense of wonder and a sense of purpose.
Years after the Kodak Instamatic (it sits on a shelf, in my bedroom), my cameras follow me everywhere again. I shoot both digital and film (with a big, big preference for film) and i love to photograph the small stuff of ordinary days. I’d love a chance, some day, to shoot Mount Everest, or the Taj Mahal… but until then… life is now and beauty is everywhere…
And if you look carefully, you’ll always find a small trace of my daughter’s presence in my photos…
Thank you for musing with us, Valerie!
Meghan of Life Refocused
Oh my heart, this is beautiful.
Images and in words.
Valerie, what a touching story wrapped in beautiful words and images. I’m a huge fan of your work anyways and I love how the ordinary looks so extraordinary in each of your images. Keep up with it.
Beautiful Valerie and the healing power of the camera is with words…
<3
such a heartwarming, powerful post about your journey, and also how photography, and other creative outlets, can be such a healthy thing for healing.
A very touching post, Valerie. Love the light captured in your images – especially the first with its striking color and dreamy DOF!
How wonderful to learn more about you. I always adore your thoughtful pictures and now I will look for your girl in them too. x
Such a beautiful post Valarie, I learned so many things about you here. I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter, but thrilled that she holds you like an angel showering your vision with love through your work.
I am a new contact of yours, but have quickly fallen in love with your work. This post makes me fall in love with you. Beautiful post!
So beautifully written and shared. So much of your story is my story too. I’m so glad you found your way back – you create such beauty.
I am always inspired by your photography. I am sorry for your loss and very much understand how how photography can help to heal pain.
Thank you for musing with us, Valerie. Beautiful post and photographs. xo
Such a beautiful post, and with so much meaning and love behind those words.
I have long followed your work, and there is always a beautiful peace and beauty in all your images.
This is a wonderful post.
xx
This post touched me deeply – thank you so much for sharing and for the reminder of how powerful this photography thing we share is.
thanks you all… i was really nervous about writing this… thank you for the kind comments…
Valerie, what a touching post. thank you for opening up and sharing this with us today.
And i love that you still have your Kodak Instamatic.
Beautiful and touching. More to the point, you found yourself and your soul again. Thank you for sharing.
A beautiful, poignant post.
I’m glad that photography helped you to heal. It was brave of you to share your feelings here.
such a lovely post … finding your way back to photography has probably made it even more meaningful.
read this a few days ago and was so moved that i wanted to pop back and leave a comment.
this is such a beautiful and inspiring post. the way you see the world and the beauty in the little things is wonderful, your photos always make me smile.
thank you…