Holga 120N – Fuji
This semester is a bit of a departure from last spring in that I am teaching intro to (primarily digital) photography instead of intro to B&W darkroom. However, much like last semester, teaching seems to be the one thing that is helping me keep my head slightly above water. I’ve come to rely on the excitement of my students (you know the excitement I’m talking about – the excitement you feel when you first realize what a camera can actually do, and how much everything changes when you discover photography) to help me keep my enthusiasm about my own work.
Agfa Cadet – Pinhole Conversion, Paper Negative
As most of you know by now, I’ve been feeling slightly lost with my own photography the past few months, and I’m not even going to pretend that I am about to figure things out. This is the most intense dry spell I have experienced during my time as a photographer, and it is completely terrifying at times. The fear of what is next after grad school can be paralyzing, and I constantly have to remind myself to let go and to jump with absolute faith that something will work out, because it always does. I always find a way to keep making images, and I always manage to find work.
One thing I always tell my students is to overshoot – to take “too many” photos and to try “too many” different things. I’m trying to take my own advice these days! I feel like I am dangerously close to losing touch with my medium, so I am now forcing myself to make something new every day, even if it is just an iPhone shot/processed image, and to write a few sentences in my journal. For a couple of years, I was wrapped up in my 365s, which, at the time seemed grueling, but I miss that structure – the make-something-every-day routine. I am hoping that this phase of having to force myself to make something daily will soon give way to my old routine of making things without too much effort.
These are so good, Anna. Just divine. Things will ease, I know they will. x
I know how you feel Anna! For me though, I think I’ve just realized photography is a hobby and not a job. I have to keep reminding myself that I am not competing with others, so its okay to have low periods once in a while. Your work is still amazing, as always.
Anna–I’m 100% where you are. With no photography project in place to give me structure, I’m feeling lost. I went away on a beautiful photography trip and completely UNDER shot. It feels so bad internally. So just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. xo
Meghan – So, what’s really strange, is that less than 24 hours after writing this post, I had a life-changing epiphany, I’m not even kidding!
It wasn’t even about photography, per se, but it did help me feel so much better about my work, where I’ve been and where I’m going. I had been in this disgusting photo funk for over a year, but was out of it almost instantly.
It may take time, and it may or may not happen in a moment, but you’ll get your inspiration back, you really will. What I have taken away from this experience is that, yes, I’m sure I’ll get into another funk in the future, but I think I will be much more open to experiencing the dry spell and accepting it rather than fighting it. I think fighting it makes it much worse than if you let it wash over you and know that you will make it through to the other side.
Anna—WOW!! That is great news and I’m so happy for you!! I can’t wait to hear and see what this epiphany brings for you. And I think you are totally correct in that we have to accept the ebbs and flows. xo
These are beautiful. I know that fear. Been feeling it myself for about a year. I cannot decide if it’s from being overwhelmed with my life (kids, husband, big life changes…) or if I’m slipping. The hard part is deciding if I should keep viewing the work of others online or just unplug and go hermit for a while. Days like today and seeing your work is inspiring. Other days are harder. I am wishing you peace and I know the muse shall return.
Anna, even in your “inspiration rut”, your work is amazing. Glad to see in the comments that you had a life-changing epiphany. Hope things keep moving in the right direction. xo